Hopes, Dreams, and Packing up the Apartment.

It’s been much too long, however my life has been so eventful I haven’t been able to summarize the details into a simple blog post.  I will sum up the details in a few words from my last post to this one:

Typesetting. Avett Brothers. Tears. Editing. Job Search. More tears. Interview for Job. Excitement. Flying. Friends. Eating Crepes. Hired(!). More Excitement. Gelatto. LOTS of Family. Funeral. Even more tears. Packing. Fleas on the Dog. (More Tears) Even more packing….

So as you can tell, one job, one funeral, and about 3000 miles later, I’m a little exhausted.  And we still have so far to go.  However I am not deterred, I tend to work best under this sort of pressure, although I’m a bit reluctant to pack up our little home.  This will always be our first place.  I remember the significance of my parent’s first place, and how driving by it would always drum up feelings of nostalgia in the pit of my stomach.  That’s the beauty of reminiscing, it’s something lovely to look back on that makes stepping into the unknown a bit more heartening.

So here I am, sitting amongst my lightly packed boxes listening to “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” and drinking my lukewarm coffee thinking about my future as an artist.  Mostly, I pray to God that my dreams are realistic and attainable. More than anything I want to write and illustrate my own book.  This is a goal I’ve had most of my artistic career, though I’ve focused in on it more as a reality this past year where necessity has lead me to my own small business. This means more freelance work than I could have imagined, more guts than I can give myself credit for, and, of course, this blog.

When I think of my future as an artist I don’t want it to manifest itself as a glorified ego trip.  A simple continuation of myself into cyberspace and onto bookshelves as a worshipful “me” party.  If there is work to be done, it is no good to wrap it around something temporal, (i.e. myself.)  I change, and often.  I’m not discrediting work that is done out of necessity, you have to wash dishes, go to work, write e-mails to friends, and wether you like it or not, take the dog out.  What I’m referring to, is focusing more on the eternal as a motivation.

I look at Dad, who spent most of his adult life dreaming about building a pulling tractor and the past six years very slowly seeing it through.  When I ask him about what it feels like finally having a tangible manifestation of his dreams in front of him, he says “It’s amazing!  (pause) Ok, what now?”  He is quick to interject that this project has reminded him what a wonderful woman his wife is, and has given him a regimen for his relationship with her.  He is learning to put her first always and his dreams as a far off second.  The thing about goals is they have a start date and and end date, however vague.  I do not want to place undue emphasis on something that will eventually end.

I am writing about goals here because soon I start a full time job, and I fear those things will fall to the wayside.  I don’t want to become discouraged.  I trust God’s leading.  If He has truly placed those things on my heart, He will see them through.

Ok, before I reach a “too long, didn’t read” consensus on this post, I’d better get back to packing!

More updates to follow!